Who, Which, That: Relative Pronouns for Everyday English

Priya Sharma

Priya Sharma writes English learning guides for ESL students. Pune-based language enthusiast.

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Quick answer: Use "who" for people, "which" for things, and "that" for people or things in everyday speech. Use "whose" to show ownership and "where" for places. If the extra information is not needed to know which one you mean, put it between commas and do not use "that."↗ Share on X

To use relative pronouns correctly in everyday English, remember a short rule: who for people, which for things, and that for people or things in normal speech. Use whose for ownership and where for places. If the extra information is not needed to know which one you mean, put it between commas, and do not use "that" there. Those few rules cover most of what you will say every day.

Below you will find each pronoun with simple examples, the comma rule explained in plain words, and the mistakes learners make most often.

What is a relative pronoun, in simple words?

READ ALSOSimple Guide to English Grammar Rules for Beginners →The 12 English Grammar Mistakes Learners Repeat Most →12 English Grammar Mistakes That Give Learners Away →

A relative pronoun connects two ideas about the same person or thing. It lets you join two short sentences into one.

• Two sentences: "I have a friend. She speaks four languages."
• One sentence: "I have a friend who speaks four languages."

The part that starts with "who" is called a relative clause. It describes the noun before it ("a friend").

Which relative pronoun should you use?

In everyday conversation, you will mostly use who, that, which, and whose. "Whom" sounds formal, and many native speakers use "who" instead in casual speech.

What is the comma rule, and why does it matter?

READ ALSOThe 12 English Grammar Rules That Fix Most Mistakes →Will vs Going To: The Simple Rule for Everyday English →How to Fix the English Pronunciation Mistakes You Make →

This is the rule that confuses learners most. There are two kinds of relative clauses.

Necessary information (no commas)

The clause tells you which one you mean. Without it, the sentence is unclear.

• "The students who passed the test got a certificate."

Which students? Only the ones who passed. If you remove the clause, the meaning changes: "The students got a certificate" sounds like all of them did.

For necessary information:

• You can use who, which, or that.
• Do not use commas.

Extra information (with commas)

The clause just adds a detail. You already know which one.

• "My brother, who lives in Chicago, is visiting next week."

If you have only one brother, the clause is extra. Remove it, and the sentence still works: "My brother is visiting next week."

For extra information:

• Use who or which.
• Do not use "that."
• Put commas around the clause.

A quick test

Ask yourself: "If I delete this part, do I still know which person or thing I mean?"

• Yes → extra information → commas, no "that."
• No → necessary information → no commas, "that" is fine.

When can you leave out the relative pronoun?

Native speakers often drop the pronoun. This makes speech sound more natural. But you can only drop it in one situation: when the pronoun is the object of the clause, not the subject.

Here is how to check. Look at the word right after the pronoun.

1. If a noun or another pronoun comes next (I, you, she, my boss), you can usually drop it.

- "The movie (that) we watched was great." ✔ "The movie we watched was great."

2. If a verb comes next, you must keep it.

- "The man who called you is here." ✘ "The man called you is here." (This is wrong.)

Also, you cannot drop the pronoun in clauses with commas.

• "My car, which I bought in 2019, still runs well." The pronoun must stay.

What are the most common relative pronoun mistakes?

Mistake 1: Using "which" for people

• ✘ "The teacher which I like is leaving."
• ✔ "The teacher who I like is leaving." or "The teacher that I like is leaving." or "The teacher I like is leaving."

Mistake 2: Using "that" after a comma

• ✘ "Paris, that is my favorite city, is very expensive."
• ✔ "Paris, which is my favorite city, is very expensive."

Mistake 3: Repeating the pronoun

Some languages repeat the noun inside the clause. English does not.

• ✘ "This is the book that I told you about it."
• ✔ "This is the book that I told you about."

• ✘ "The woman who she works with me is nice."
• ✔ "The woman who works with me is nice."

Mistake 4: Mixing up "whose" and "who's"

They sound the same, but they mean different things.

• whose = belonging to: "The girl whose bag was stolen called the police."
• who's = who is / who has: "Who's coming to dinner?"

Mistake 5: Using "what" as a relative pronoun

• ✘ "The thing what I need is a break."
• ✔ "The thing that I need is a break." or "What I need is a break."

"What" means "the thing that." It does not come after a noun.

Mistake 6: Using "where" for things that are not places

• ✔ "It was a situation where I learned a lot." — This one is common and accepted in everyday speech.
• ✘ "The book where I read about it." — Wrong. A book is not a place.
• ✔ "The book in which I read about it." or "The book I read about it in."

How do relative pronouns work with prepositions?

Sometimes the clause needs a preposition like "to," "with," or "about." In everyday English, put the preposition at the end. In formal English, it can come before "whom" or "which."

In normal conversation, the everyday version sounds much more natural. Do not use "that" right after a preposition: "the person to that I spoke" is wrong.

How can you practice relative pronouns in daily life?

Grammar sticks when you use it about your own life. Try these short exercises.

1. Join two sentences. Each day, write three pairs of short sentences and join them. "I have a coworker. She makes great coffee." → "I have a coworker who makes great coffee."

2. Describe people around you. "My neighbor, who is a teacher, has two cats." Say it out loud.

3. Describe objects at home. "The chair that I'm sitting on is from my grandmother."

4. Play the definition game. Describe a word without saying it: "It's a place where you can borrow books." (A library.) "It's a person who fixes cars." (A mechanic.)

5. Listen for them. In shows or podcasts, notice when speakers drop "that." This trains your ear.

Quick reference to save

Your next step

Right now, write five sentences about people and things in your life, one each with who, which, that, whose, and where. Then check each one with two questions: "Is the information necessary or extra?" and "Could I drop the pronoun?" Say all five out loud twice. Tomorrow, try to use at least two of them in a real conversation or message.

FAQ

Can I use "that" for people?

Yes. In everyday English, "the man that called me" is common and correct. "The man who called me" is a little more formal and is often preferred in writing, but both are fine in conversation.

When can I leave out the relative pronoun?

You can drop it when it is the object of the verb in the clause. "The book (that) I bought" is correct with or without "that." You cannot drop it when it is the subject: "The woman who lives next door" needs "who."

Is "which" wrong without commas?

Not wrong, especially in British English. But many style guides in American English prefer "that" for necessary information without commas, and "which" with commas for extra information. Following that habit keeps your writing clear.